Return and Recollection
by SmokingLittleSparrow
Summary: Cas finds the Winchesters, and more importantly Dean after the Angels fall, and it's 2014 and they are living in the ghetto like camps.


Déjà vu in its purest form; 2014 and havoc is playing off "God's" fingers. Dean is seated against the warm wood of one of the twenty some cabins housing the few yet strong survivors of Hell on Earth reality outside their ghetto. The light rhythmic dripping of water droplets falling to the floor by his shoe comes steadily from the roof. Every day he promises himself that he will fix the leak, but each day, he puts it off a day; today isn't like most days though. Each day it gets more and more clear to Dean, the brother he had watch grow up, and evolve from innocence was fading away. Since Sam stopped the closing of the Gates to Hell and spared his own life, and the falling of the angels, he has been becoming more and more distant. It's almost exactly like the 2014 version he had been sent to in 2009 by Zachariah, except Castiel isn't here, and Sam, luckily, never said yes to be Lucifer's vessel.

Dean cocked his neck to the side; the familiar crack sent a wave of relief down his neck. Relief. Not something he was accustomed to on a common basis. He knew that he wasn't the only one to feel the pressure of their situation closing in on them, but somehow he couldn't help feeling he was the one who had lost the most, but he couldn't place what he had lost that was so important. Sam was going gradually, and so he had time to bid farewell to the parts that faded away, but what Dean felt was something deep in his gut, something that caused a wrenching feeling of exasperation.

The dripping of the water grew faster all of a sudden and Dean was pulled out of his deep state of thinking. He became suddenly aware of the pounding of rain on the roof and the sudden humidity that clung to his hairs. Fain shouts slowly became louder and he jumped to his feet, his foot splashing into the puddle that had settled by him.

"Look!" someone shouted their voice rough. "The sky! Look up!" Dean tripped over a unloaded gun on the ground, a memory fogging his vision. _The angels… they're falling._ His pace now grew faster, as he stumbled into random objects making his way to the door. As he flung it open, and was greeted with a blast of cold rain water, he wiped his face with his sleeve and squinted through the rain. He looked up. His breathe caught as he was greeted with a wave of both terror and confusion. It wasn't lit up with falling angels, their wings burning off, but rather, it was a deep crimson and painted with black streams of thick black storm clouds.

"It's the rising sun!" someone cried out. "It's making the clouds red!" Dean looked around in search for the person who had spoken. Sam stood atop a wooden box, his hands brushing his wet hair out of his face. A brief smile spread across his face, the feeling unnatural. Last time he smiled like that was in Purgatory… with Castiel.

Storming into the rain, Dean walked straight for his younger brother, a knot in his stomach coaxing pain and nausea to surface. Fighting back his discomfort, he put a hand on his brother's arm. Standing beside him, Sam is a good head taller, but now, onto of the box, he towers, intimidating and menacing. Sam looks down and meets with Dean's eyes, a small almost cruel smile curling at his lips.

"Goddammnit Sammy! Don't look at me like that, now get the hell down!" Dean's words slipped out smoothly as he tried to force down the lump in his throat as he supressed the memories of 2014 version Sam in 2009. Lucifer wild in his brother's eyes.

"Dean are you okay?" Sam's voice normal, the deep murmur that it made when he was thinking and talking at the same time calmed Dean's nerves. The concern in Sam's eyes was the most human Dean had seen him in days.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He choked out.

"Okay, so get this…the…" Sam's voice faded away as Dean caught sight of something so surreal that he had to wipe his eyes again to get the water away, little use did it do.

There stood a figure, coming out of the thick trees across the dirty road where everyone stood staring at the sky. As the figure came closer, the feature became more and more distinct; dirty, tan coat, ripped tie, messy dark brown hair and eyes so blue that they almost shone through the rain.

Castiel.

Before he was aware of it, Dean's legs were moving him towards Castiel. The hollow feeling in his stomach tight and throbbing. He opened his mouth to call out his name, but the shock of seeing Castiel there took his words away. Quickly the space between them was mere feet. They both stopped. Dean's eyes were glued to Castiel's face. But Castiel broke it after a few moments, and looked around, slowly Dean followed, no one had noticed his presence apart from Sam and Dean. Dean met eyes with his brother and almost right after he regretted it, there was a look of utter shock and sarcasm… a combination that he did not anticipate seeing from Sam, ever.

When Dean looked back at Castiel, he was already looking at him. So many thoughts and questions rushed through his mind, all wanting to come out at the same time. But the only consciousness that stayed was that his mouth felt dry, despite the rain pouring onto his face.

Before he could stop himself, he had closed the space between them, his arms wrapped around Castiel's body. The stiffness met with his embrace was cold and hurtful. When he pulled away, Cas' face was riddled with confusion.

"I am human, Dean." He looked up and met Dean's eyes. "I feel a multitude of feelings I did not encounter before, or could not supress before."

"Cas, buddy…" Dean wiped his face again with a hand. "Where have you been?" it's been nearly a year, and it's felt like several. Each day a struggled… simply because he was not there… Dean now understood, although he didn't want to admit it.

"Dean… I don't know how to express myself to you." He took a small step forward, and Dean met it, hands outstretched, fingers lightly touching his _friends _face. Cas looked down and then up, reaching up, laying a hand onto Dean`s.

"Why don't you come inside for a bit?" Dean said his deep voice like a vibration in the space between them. Cas nodded slightly and Dean put a _friendly _arm around Cas, and watched just to make sure no one took notice apart from his brother. Sam winked lightly and went back to explaining to someone the cloud colour.

On their way towards Dean's cabin, a woman ran up to Dean. Her face flushed… even Dean could tell.

"Dean, why haven't you come see me? Oh…" she hushed as she noticed Cas. "Um… well whenever you want to… you know, _see me, _come find me, yeah?" She smiled, and Dean tightly returned it. He could feel Cas' hard gaze on the side of his face, but he kept his face forward and walked towards his Cabin. Kicking the door open, seeing that it was not completely closed. Cas walked in first, detaching himself from Dean's side. Hesitantly, Dean followed and closed the door.

"Cas… where have you—" he stopped when he saw Cas taking off his coat. When he turned around, the coat in his hand, he looked naked. The thin, dirty white button up shirt wet on his frame, tracing out every angle. "You can just put that on the ladder…" Dean managed out. When Castiel turned around, the shirt outlined his shoulder blades and Dean tilted his head to the side, almost expecting to see wings, but all he saw was _human _flesh. When Cas turned around again, Dean held a cocky stance and one eyebrow was slightly raised.

"Dean I have been looking for… you." Cas let fall out of his mouth. Dean taken aback by his honesty, he took a small step back, and Cas saw it as more than he had intended. "Pardon my honestly, I meant nothing by it more than I was in search to reunite myself with you and your Brother, if he would still be alive."

"Well Cas, as you can see, we are both fine." As Cas had done to him, Dean himself was misunderstanding the information that Castiel was giving him. "Goddammnit Castiel." Dean shook his head and looked down.

The touch shocked him, and he jumped a little, but when he met the bright blue eyes of Castiel, he stopped, taking in the situation. Cas' hands were cupping his face, and his nose was mere inches from him. Cas' hot breath was on his, and when Dean opened his mouth to breathe, he was drawn in by pure instinct that he was not aware of.

Cas' lips were on his and he was moving with Cas. The confusion was met with understanding. Every moment he and Cas had shared made sense to him now. Every feeling he felt, made sense. The hollow feeling in his stomach had vanished and he curved his body into Cas'.

After a few minutes. Dean pulled back, confusion washed over Cas' face, and Dean let out a small laugh. He spread his hands over Cas' chest, then in one quick motion ripped the shirt from his body, water droplets flying around them. Their bodies were against each other again, hipbones locking into each other like they were two perfect pieces to a puzzle.

"What did that woman mean when she told you to go find her…?" Cas' asked between kisses.

"Don't, Cas don't make me explain." Dean had pulled back from shock. Jealously? Did Cas feel jealous. Cas' face was flushed and his blue eyes searched for the truth.

"How many pleased you, Dean?" his voice broken and begging. Dean felt a pull at his heart.

"Cas, don't make me…" but Dean could tell Cas knew there had been a number, too high to express without guilt and regret. Dean moved in to bring his face back to Cas' but he took a step back.

"I waiting so long to find you, to make sense of what I felt, and this is how I am met with." Dean looked down with guilt from Cas' words. His heart breaking for the things he had done to supress his feelings.

"Cas, come to me now for god's sake." He knew his mistake in words the moment they came out of his mouth and he regretted it the moment after. "Please… forget about it. I made a mistake." Cas turned around, understanding and forgiveness glowing in his eyes.

Cas walked back to Dean and pulled his shirt off. His hands exploring and his hot breath on his shoulder. Dean took a moment to appreciate the change he had made, and the happiness he felt, for the first time in a long time.

As


End file.
